Waiting

Do you ever get the waiting bug? I do , waiting for something better to come along. Waiting for change on a relationship or a new job or just even your life.Well I have done this for about 25 years and let me tell it does not work unless you put action into place.I am 36 years old and I am very fortunate to grasp onto this concept finally.I have wasted a long time on countless occasions to try to fool myself that there is a better way to get to the happiness of life.I sit here thinking to myself as I write to you "wow i should be dead or locked up."I remember an incident  back about 6 years ago during my heavy use of Crack Cocaine. I had been renting my parents car out to the local drug dealer.My Mom and Dad were in Florida at the time and I thought to myself they will never find out I will have the car back before they know it. Well I was wrong they found out when they called my uncle and he told them that I had been gone for days. My mom called me on my cell phone yelling "Get your Ass home now and my vehicle back in the garage." See what she did not know was her vehicle was in Wilkes Villa Rented out.I wish I could tell you that I got there safely to and from but that wasn't the case. I got a ride to get the vehicle and I was so high and frantic about what I was going to do , I never saw the old couple in front of me. I turned my head to see the back of there vehicle and I hit them. I jerked the wheel so hard to the left Flying into a telephone pole.I remember being Life flighted up in the air and the nurse saying" hold on stay with me." They called my Mom in Florida to tell her that her son that she just spoke to might die.Well as you know I did not die but I will tell you this I was waiting to die. I did not want to live anymore.You see I was waiting for death and should have been looking for Him who was waiting for me all along.I see now the big picture God has been waiting for me to live and tell my story of hope and life.